YOU CAN BLAME CHRISTIAN KERR FOR THIS...

....as he asked for this single to be featured when he left behind a comment the other day when I featured the LP Bite by Altered Images. 

I'm actually quite happy about it as it allows me, by going back and giving you word-for-word an old post from way back in July 2008, a very lazy Sunday:-

See, the thing was that Altered Images were an amazingly good pop band, and Clare Crogan was not only really sexy but a singer with a distinctive voice that many of us loved. And the fella Davey Henderson was a great song writer when he was with both Fire Engines and Win.

So it is a complete and total mystery why this collaboration is such a crock of shit....

Altered Images called it a day in late 1983 after less than 3 years together, during which time there were ten singles (I have them all in 7" format) and three LPs. Of the singles, five made the Top 30, of which Happy Birthday was by far the biggest hit, reaching the giddy heights of #2 in the UK charts.

The third LP in 1983 was called Bite, and in my humble opinion it is one of the great lost LPs of the 80s. It was a real change of direction for the band, as they tried hard to make a more sophisticated and polished sound, and while it did spawn a major hit in Don't Talk To Me About Love, the subsequent (and equally as good) singles stalled/flopped. Clare decided that it was time, at the ripe old age of 21, to call time on the pop career and concentrate on being an actress.

In early 1987, having had only minor success as an actress, Clare decided to go back into the studio. She enlisted as her partner-in-crime the afore-mentioned Mr. Henderson, who was riding reasonably high at the time (critically at least, if not commercially) thanks to the release of the debut Win LP,which went under the hilarious name of Uh! Tears Baby (A Trash Icon).

It seems in fact that a whole LPs worth of material was recorded by Clare and Davey....but the only thing that saw the light of day was the debut single which did absolutely nothing. It got next to no airplay, it got mauled in the record papers and hardly anyone bought it. And hardly anyone has heard it since.

mp3 : Clare Grogan - Love Bomb

I can really offer no positive words of support for this three-and-a-half minutes or so of completely disposable pap, but I should say that it is worth listening to just to see how spectacularly wrong these two icons went on this project.

And if you the a-side was bad, sneak a listen to the b-side:-

mp3 : Clare Grogan - I Love The Way You Beg

On the bright side, it ends before the clock has ticked round to two minutes.

I've no doubt that both parties did OK financially out of the deal with some sort of tidy advance. Before long, Davey went on to his next project, Nectarine No.9 (which, like Fire Engines and Win beforehand were well received but sold next to nowt), while Clare went back to the new day job, (at which she became highly successful, including an extended run in one of UK's longest-running and most popular soap operas on BBC-TV), while surfacing every now and again to do an occasional guest vocal with someone or other.

Happy (??!!!) Listening.

MAY 2011 UPDATE

If you thought the single was bad.....have a look at what must be one of the world's worst pop promos along with a squirm inducing appearance/interview on a kiddie's Saturday morning show....



But the sweary kid is hilarious!!!!!!!!!