THE SUNDAY CORRESPONDENTS

CALAMARI, PIZZA AND YUK......

Driving home after a recent function Jacques the Kipper prompted me to write a piece telling of my further misfortunes of missing gigs....... so far I’ve told of my father not letting me go to see Steve Harley and Cockney Rebel on a school night ....and of the small weedy wide-boy cockney prick who deprived me of the pleasure of seeing Graham Parker and the Rumour ... the best tale of my misfortune has yet to be told!!!

Let's return to the 11th of July 1983 when four expectant Soft Cell fans are travelling over the Forth to Coasters music venue in Edinburgh’s Tollcross area. Ian “Goodie” Goodfellow drove me, Iain Fenton and his girlfriend Lesley; in his recently purchased Hillman Hunter (the same car Iain’s brother drove me in to Dundee to see the Freeze as recounted here).

Now from experience, gigs at Coasters usually started around 10pm with doors opening at the venue at around 9pm.....we arrived at 9.30pm, climbed the stairs to hear the voice of Marc Almond drifting down towards us, puzzled we looked at each other and said “it must be Marc and the Mambas” , as on some gigs he’d supported his own headline show by playing a “warm up” with his alternate band(who featured The The’s Matt Johnson)... as we climbed closer the lyrics and accompanying music became clearer...it was Say Hello, Wave Goodbye ...and they did!!

As soon as we reached the main hall they stopped playing and disappeared of stage. We looked at each other rather angrily and said “Fuck!! It’s finished!!”

We went back out to the light of the stairwell and looked at the tickets, there were no times printed on them, no gig time and no doors opening times.

As we headed back down the stairs, dozens of gig-goers had just begun to arrive. People were starting to get very angry and shouting at anyone who looked like they worked st the venue. There certainly looked like there was going to be a riot!!!!

Being the men that we were, we allowed Lesley to plead our case for a refund to the only management looking employee she could find.  Her and others efforts succeeded as in an effort to defuse the angry mob that had gathered in the foyer, the box office window had opened and people were started getting refunds.
We got our money back, but we still felt cheated. (It’s only now, that I’ve seen that, the ticket only cost £3.50 and Marc Almond meeting fans upstairs in "The Hoochie Coochie Club" after gig, thanks to the wonderful Edinburgh Gig Archive webpage)

We took our money and went to Dario’s Italian restaurant on Lothian Road and I remember we discussed the famous urban myth of the time about Marc Almond having the contents of his stomach pumped and what was found!! I can tell you it’s not easy to eat Calamari and pizza when discussing that!!

Maybe it was that Hillman Hunter car, but having almost died in it going to Dundee, we had another hair-raising moment on the way home from Edinburgh, when Goodie drove the wrong way around a roundabout in a thick Scottish haar (fog).

Iit took 18years before I finally saw Soft Cell, after they reformed, along with JC, Jacques the Kipper and their spouses and I saw them play a very good gig at the Barrowlands Glasgow, that was only slightly spoiled by Marc Almond fawning over David Ball and pointing out that’s who it was to the audience.

The moral of the story is always check out when gigs will start even if times are not printed on the ticket

.....and never travel in a Hillman Hunter with Goodie driving......and of course never eat Italian food while bodily fluids are discussed!!!!!!!!!

Did anyone reading this get caught out at that gig all those years ago or have you suffered a similar fate??

mp3 : Soft Cell : Frustration
mp3 : Soft Cell : It's A Mug's Game (12" version)
mp3 : Soft Cell : Say Hello, Wave Goodbye (12" version)

John Greer, Sunday 10 April 2011