Read this extract from a piece written by ctel on Friday 29th May 2009 as part of the month-plus long series of guest postings:-
R.E.M. – Country Feedback (Live) (2006): My little son has cancer. We are in hospital on the ward. He has just come back from neurosurgery for his brain tumour (his second in under a month). It is his last chance. But it could leave him blind, paralysed; who knows. The mix of fear and hope and trying not to have too much of either. I can’t sleep. I’ve been playing acoustic R.E.M. a lot. But this is the track that counts. The knotted tight emotions. The feeling that no-one else can understand. Like sex and drugs, you just can’t adequately explain how watching your child die over a protracted period feels to those who haven’t gone through it. And anger below the surface. I’m not normally good at hearing lyrics but the words “We've been through fake-a-breakdown, Self hurt, Plastics, Collections, Self help, self pain, EST, psychics, fuck all” express it all. The anger at the religious who in their pity will pray for you. The anger at the New Agers who will cure with crystals and incantation. The unutterable sadness from the repeated refrain of “It's crazy what you could've had”. Knowing that he's dying. Knowing I am right. And hating myself for it.
When he put this piece together, Ctel provided a great version recorded live in Stockholm. I cant locate that particular file, so instead I hope you'll like one recorded in Athens, Georgia back in 1992 that made it onto the CD single Bang And Blame:-
mp3 : R.E.M. - Country Feedback (live)
The photo is of ctel's little one, who sadly passed away in September 2007. I was living and working in Canada at the time, and when the news reached me, I was in tears. Even now thinking about it, especially reading what ctel said at the time over at the blog he kept throughout his son's incredible battle will always make me cry.
Ctel's music blog offered readers the opportunity to try and help find a cure for the sort of illness that took away his child's life. The bastards at blogger prevented that when they threw Acid Ted onto the cyber bonfire. I'm honoured to have the button available at TVV. It would be nice if one or two of you gave it a click occasionally.
Thank You
2 comments:
Thanks.
OK, granted it's been a VERY long while since I've posted anything, but I've been without Internet access for the best part of 3 months.
I've just come across this post and while I only know of the people concerned from reading the blog, I would also like to pass on my condolences to all affected. Peace be with you all.
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